How does a woman remain firm in the mahr convo if she's shy and does not have a strong wali to support her

in that convo so that she isn't pressured to lower it?

I found that a lot of awliyat an umur only look at the mahr as really symbolic and don't even see it as being something necessary and then, of course, they get jaded later on when they force their daughters to take a very low amount, and then the man's like, no I did what I was supposed to, I did what I agreed to.

So how do you remain firm in the mahr convo?

And because you're shy, I would say, look, let's move this conversation to email.

Move it to email and just be straightforward.

Look, I'm shy to talk about this with you in person. And I don't want to offend you, and I also don't want to feel imposed upon. But, I'd love if we can take the preliminary discussion of this to email, and then when we get kind of past the details then we can sit together and talk.

Also, if your primary wali is being kind of weak, you can have other family members there. If your wali is your dad, it doesn't have to be your dad there that's insisting on that. A lot of cultures, sometimes the mom is the one who is doing that kind of negotiation on the back end.

Sometimes the man and the woman won't even speak about it. It will be the parents or the mothers, or somebody.

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