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- What if your husband is forcing you to attend family dinners every week with disrespectful in-laws?
What if your husband is forcing you to attend family dinners every week with disrespectful in-laws?
Is the issue of the frequency or is the issue the disrespectful in laws. Are there weekly gatherings because they're a tight knit family?
Is the husband worried about losing that tight knit feeling? Is it coming from pressure? Is it something that he wants?
And so then maybe coming up with a way and saying, like, look, how can we come up with a balance where you feel still just as involved with the family, but maybe we alternate.
Because we also have to strengthen our own family unit too.
So there should be weekends where it's just me and you. And then when we have kids, it should be weekends where it's just us and the kids. That's healthy too.
So, the husband also recognizing that if I give up some family meetings, that doesn't mean that I'm abandoning my family.
I'm just creating a healthy balance.
As far as the in laws being disrespectful.
As a Muslim man, it's your job to protect the reputation of your spouse.
Doesn't mean you yell at your mother or father or whoever is saying those disrespectful comments, but point it out, right?
And just let them know, hey guys, that's not cool.
One huge mistake that guys make afterwards is women will sometimes they'll see things that we don't see and say oh, did you realize how your mom said something? And the the guy's like, what do you mean?
She just said this, like, no, no, no, she said it like, you know what I'm saying?
You don't have to go into this like long lengthy explanation of, no, she didn't mean it like that.
Listen, if she said it that way, I'm really sorry. It shouldn't have happened. That's it.
Like, you have no idea how much that avoids so many arguments, just that level of understanding. It shouldn't have happened, right?
In this sister's particular case, if it is a reoccurring thing, I think the husband needs to sit individually, talk with the family and make sure that he expresses that he's bothered by it.
It's not coming from the wife, right?
It's coming from him.
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