Is it obligatory to follow the woman's culture regarding mahr

if the man insists on paying it in a certain way due to his own culture?

This is really one of those things where this lecture comes in. It's negotiation, right?

Neither of the two cultures is going to necessarily have the upper hand or should be followed.

And quite frankly, from what I've seen some cultures actually have demands that are at times impossible to fulfill.

I think sometimes in cultural manifestations of Islam while they are not bad or harmful they can sometimes not be pragmatic and practical. And so it's very important when negotiating these things to say, I understand that by stipulating this you are valuing your daughter and I want to be respectful of that but I also want to be practical and be able to provide. So can we come to a median.

What you'll find sometimes is if there are certain cultural things that they do kind of for show at the wedding those will be done and then the kind of real mahr behind the doors will be whatever is practical and pragmatic.

Like I've been to a couple of weddings of people from Libya and apparently in certain parts of Libya it's expected that when the mahr is asked the man gives the woman a plate full of dates.

Is that the only mahr that's given? No, but it's a symbolic thing and there's no harm in doing that. But of course the real mahr is written in the contract and is agreed upon, in other times.

That's where the negotiation comes in.

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