People conflate obeying your parents with respecting your parents.

So those are two completely different concepts.

The first generation of Muslims did not obey their parents. Their parents told them to worship idols. They didn't listen to them. But they were respectful in their disobedience to their parents, right?

I think highlighting that, number one as we lay the foundation for setting boundaries is just being aware that sometimes we're pressured out of guilt.

It's like, oh, if I don't listen to my mother, you know, khalas I'm going to be cursed. I'm going to go to hell, this, that, right?

And because of that I've seen it where people will just get so worked up about that. Then when they try and set that boundary, they're coming from a place of flood of emotions.

I want to say no, but then I'm pushed between two directions. That's it. Great. I'm going to hell anyway. So now let me just lose my cool.

And instead of taking a step back and saying no.

I'm in control. I'm still being respectful towards my parents.

This is a conversation that my wife and I had beforehand of what we're comfortable with and what we're not comfortable with.