What qualities should women seek in a partner for prophetic qiwamah?

What do you suggest women look for in regards to qualities of someone who will fulfill this responsibility of prophetic qiwamah?

I would say that number one, the sharia has tagged certain acts and abilities to quantifiable measures as a proxy for private matters. What I mean by that is this.

One of the mainstays of qiwamah is a man's ability to pay mahr. Why?

Because mahr is an indication of his ability to provide financially.

His ability to provide financially is an indication of his ability to work and be gainfully employed.

His ability to work and be gainfully employed is an indication of his responsibility as a man, regardless of marriage or not.

So in negotiating with mahr, it is important to, again, not be astronomically high and not be astronomically low, but to do what is easiest for the marriage to happen, but to not make it so easy that the man does not take things seriously.

In Al-Imam al-Kāsāni , he mentions in the Badā'i al-Sanā'i, that that's one of the reasons why mahr should be something the man has to think about.

Although, that can be whatever is easiest for him to pay, but still what has to be contemplated for him.

Proof of that is that the Prophet, peace be upon him, did not tell the man who wanted to marry a woman who had presented herself for marriage at the masjid I'll just marry to you for whatever you memorize the Qur'an.

He went through material possessions first.

Do you have a ring? Do you have a steel ring? Okay, give her your shirt. Okay, you won't have any other shirt. Okay, what else? Go home and find something.

So there was that peg to that. So prophetic qiwamah is the man's ability to pay a mahr which is indicative of his ability to earn.

I would say secondly, his ability to reasonably negotiate and have that conversation will be an excellent indication to you about how he deals with stressful things. So if you tell him an amount and you see him become extremely irate and angry.

Maybe that's not the guy that is going to uphold prophetic qiwamah.

And I know that sometimes women will say, you know, I don't want to be belligerent. I don't want to be out of line. I'm just going to just tell them whatever's going to make it easiest from the beginning, not knowing anything about that guy.

So your negotiations and conversations about mahr are actually the perfect time where you're going to find out ability, character under pressure, ability to give and take and whether they are looking to you to marry for ulterior motives, or if they're looking to you for your deen.

So, I would say, using the mahr to find out if this man is financially responsible, emotionally intelligent and available and a person of taqwa.

Those are the three main things that I would say, should be looked for and can be understood through the conversation and the mahr process.